I felt the strong need today to send that out to the world. I considered writing it in my greatly unused journals, but I feel guilty coming to that admission. I have too many secret sadnessses and life issues, and I need to unload some of that. Given that I cannot afford (or have insurance) to see a therapist (not sure that I’d go anyway, haven’t been to a WW meeting in a month), I am hoping that anonymous writing will have a therapeutic affect. There is something about talking to strangers…, a freedom to say what you want without (as much) fear of judgement on the speakers side, and an objectivity (and anonymity) that is unparallelled in that who are closer to you (and your issues). That being said… I still don’t think I can offload all of my issues in one go on my first post, but I do intend to keep writing. As for the name of my blog I certainly need to lose weight at 220 for 5’7″ (current and highest weight), but my emotional eating binge behavior quickly regains weight that I have lost. I keep thinking at least when I lose the weight perhaps life will go back to how I was before I gained it.. I will be happy.. I will have energy.. I will run.. and dance.. and… But tying to lose weight to be happy, meanwhile binging to be happy… I need to try to be less unhappy first then my cycle could be broken. But how..?